A Letter to My New Christian Self
"Dear 2019 Kemi,
I don't remember exactly how you felt when you started this journey or what your expectations were of how it would go. I just remember that you craved something deeper - a deeper intimacy with God.
Up until now, your relationship with God has been an on-off relationship and this time, you want the "on" to be permanent. I'm proud of you for noting your need for this and for committing yourself to making this time permanent.
The road ahead is not going to be easy but not for the reasons you think. I think you expected the hard part to be doing God's will and sinning no more. And as you will learn, dying to yourself is hard but giving yourself grace as God gives you grace will be the hardest part for you.
You're so hard on yourself my love, perhaps even more than God is on you because He doesn't expect perfection from you but you do from yourself. As you continue to learn more about God and who He is, you will realize that the only one on earth who was without sin was Jesus and that as much you should try to stay away from sin, your expectation of perfection from yourself is unrealistic.
I think your biggest reason for wanting so desperately to no longer be a sinner is your realization that sin keeps you away from God because of the shame it brings on you. As you will learn on your faith journey, those feelings of shame and condemnation are not from God but from the devil and he's is counting on you allowing them to make you feel so unworthy of God's love and presence that you distance yourself from him.
There are many other ways that you will see the devil attacking you spiritually but as you grow and mature in your faith, you will get better at identifying his tactics and seeking God's strength to overcome any of the obstacles he places in your path.
Another thing you will learn is that the enemy doesn't attack without reason and the moment you feel the most attacked highlights your proximity to a breakthrough you've been waiting for. His attacks are also not permanent. If you resist and stay the course, Satan will flee and leave you alone. Stay in the race, my love. I'm so proud of your commitment and your dedication so far and I pray it continues this way.
The road ahead is not going to get easier, but that's ok because you're getting stronger and you're learning that you don't have to rely on your own strength to handle the things thrown your way.
God is always with you and through Him, not through your own strength, but through Him you can do all things.
Your 2021 Kemi"
If you've been on a faith journey, I highly encourage you to try this exercise as it helps you acknowledge your growth in your journey. In the 2 years that I've been on this journey, I've learned so much about myself, about God, and about what it means to be a Christian and live out your faith. But sometimes, when I see things that I could do better on, that I have yet to master or truly understand, I can beat myself up and undermine the growth that I've experienced. If that's you, then writing a letter to the version of you that started out on your faith journey as your current self can help you acknowledge all of the ways in which you've grown.
I pray that you find this exercise helpful and if you haven't subscribed yet, make sure you're subscribed for new blog posts every week on navigating faith, life and entrepreneurship!